The psychology of regret: how inaction affects our sense of self
Psychologists consider that three main domains make up the perception of the self. Your “actual self” is who you currently are; your “ought self” is who you think you should be based on your obligations or responsibilities; your “ideal self” is who you could be, or who you might dream of being.
You may aspire to be financially successful, loved by your friends, or well-respected within your professional circle. However, if these aspirations are not achieved, the resultant feelings of regret can be long-lasting, and in some cases, even span a lifetime.
Although regret can be difficult to bear, reassuringly, psychologists have found that the experience of regret can lead to positive outcomes. Research suggests that regret can help to make sense of past experiences, facilitates future behaviours, provide insights into the self, and even helps to preserve social harmony. The following strategies could help you to manage regret to positively support your sense of self.